25 Girls’ secrets of a great first date

First dates. They can be the start of something really great or can lead to nothing, but without a doubt, they are exciting. Nervous too. If you have butterflies in your stomach, you’re completely normal. More likely, your date is nervous too! Don’t worry sweetie, get ready.

Secret #1

What to wear

The most important question and the major concern of every girl is “What should I wear”? All other worries come after that. We know, we’ve been there.
Remember, comfort can be just as important as glamour. You won’t feel relaxed and confident, if you are tugging and fidgeting all night!
What to wear is completely up to you. But if you’d like to know what experts say, then we are happy to share their advices with you. Let’s start from what you should not wear on a first date.

What you should not wear on a first date:

• brand new things (because you cannot be sure if they fit you well and you feel comfortable and confident)
• anything that you wouldn’t wear normally
• anything that shows too much skin
• overly ripped jeans
• athletic wear such as lululemon shorts, crop tee, mosaic leggings etc. (unless it’s an pre-planned date in a gym)
• any dramatic silhouettes that can take attention away from you (it’s not a fashion show, it’s your fist date 

What you should wear on a first date:

Casual classic pants outfit

• Full length fitted jeans: they visually lengthen your body
• Silk camisole: it’s flirty and fun
• Blazer: It can be taken off if you want to show a little more skin
• Heels or heeled boots: The heels are trendy but still totally walkable. They visually make your legs longer.
• Small shoulder bag
• Gold chain link necklace

If you wear leather pants and a belt instead of jeans, they will add a touch of sexiness and chic to your first date look. Maybe, this outfit is a little sophisticated for park dates but it will do. You could also switch to flat snickers if you don’t like walking in heels.

Casual classic dress outfit:

• Square neck knit dress: A con knit dress is sexy, but because of the knit material it is not overly revealing. It’s flirty and fun, yet still casual.
• Trench coat
• Heeled boots
• Statement earrings
• Shoulder bag|
  This outfit is great for cafes, outdoor dates, or daytime city adventures. It’s chic, a bit sexy, and incredibly effortless. And it’s very cute![/dropcap]

Secret #2

 Set your mind right

Setting your mind right is probably most important than choosing your outfit. Do it before you leave home and before a date starts. While you can’t control chemistry or compatibility, you can make sure you’re mentally ready if they happen. Enter into a date feeling confident, attractive, and comfortable.
If you are really troubled by something from work or a family matter, consider rescheduling the date because science tells us that when our mind is not in the right place, many things go wrong.

Secret #3

Where to meet

Your first date with someone you know little about is full of uncertainty. Don’t plan the perfect romantic dinner with aromatic candles or a whole day out. Maybe your date is someone you wouldn’t like to spend much time with. Instead, make things simple.
Generally, the best pick for a first date is a neutral, low-pressure place where you can focus on getting to know each other. Many girls prefer to start with a casual first meeting. The casual location such as a local bar or a hip new coffee shop serves as a convenient space to have an engaging conversation, without the pressure of dressing fancy or buying an expensive meal.
If you never met a guy before, choosing a nice restaurant is not recommended: if you absolutely don’t like him at first sight you’ll be stuck for the meal anyway. But if you feel uncomfortable being in a cafe, you can leave (politely) after the first drink. Also, you are free to continue your date for as long as you both like. And if things go well, the coffee could turn into a lunch or dinner, adding some exciting spontaneity.
It’s also not a bad idea to go to an amusement park, exhibition or a fun public event. If it’s the case, dress appropriately – high hills and a fancy dress will look ridiculous.
However, if you’ve already checked each other somewhere on a neutral ground then going for a classic nice dinner is a good idea. Also, keep in mind that ordering and eating the same foods as the guy build trust and closeness between you two. By the way, do you know that the favourite romantic cuisine is Italian?

Secret #4

The power of smiling

If you see your date for the first time, it might take only a few seconds for him to form an opinion about you. First impressions always count. You cannot make a first impression twice, so try to create a strong one. Taking a shower and dressing appropriately is only a small part of the game. A great way to make a positive first impression is to smile. It’s so simple and costs you nothing. It’s all about those good vibes! “Bring a smile to those around you, and spend your time with others who make you smile.”

Secret #5

What to talk about

It has to be a balance between getting to know someone and avoiding over familiarity. That means there are things you can talk about and things you shouldn’t mention. This is where the art of conversation comes in:

• Skip the small talk. Don’t spend your whole date talking about the weather.
• Ask the simplest questions in the world: something like, “Hey, how are you doing?” or “How was your weekend?” It’s an organic way to make things feel more natural. Also, it immediately makes the guy feel more at home with you.
• When your date shares something about him or asks you a question, always reply back by with a similar story, or by asking him the same question. It’s polite and it keeps the conversation equal.
• Travel is a topic that everybody can get excited about. You can share your travel stories (both good and disastrous), and you can talk about the places you dream of going to.
• Make a couple of true “we” statements such as, “We are both in this room feeling …”
• Sincerely tell your date something that you already like about him.
• Don’t forget that if you share your little secret, it helps to create a feeling of connection between you and him.

Try to find a reasonable balance between talking and listening. But if you like the guy and want another date, then let him talk more and you listen. This trick always work (see the secret #   )

Secret #6

Listen and be interested to be interesting

This is the biggest secret of ugly ducklings that married kings. The secret is to listen with sincere interest and respond appropriately. Let your date to talk about him: “So, you visited Japan, what it was that impressed you most?” Make him feel great and special with your encouraging remarks.
Tilt your head toward him. Lean in. These are nonverbal indicators showing that you like what he says and want to hear more.
Be interested to be interesting.
On the other hand, you can’t leave all the talking to your date – that’s also a recipe for failure.

Secret #7

What you shouldn’t talk about

In general, there are five topics that are not recommended to discuss on the first date:
1. religion
2. health
3. money
4. politics
5. your ex

Secret #8

Don’t badmouth your ex

Talking about your ex on first dates should be absolutely avoided. However, if this topic has “surfaced” in the conversation, never say bad things, criticize or make fun of your ex. Ever. Your date will immediately simulate the situation when you sit opposite another guy and badmouth him. Be extremely restrained in expressing your emotions, even if you hate your ex.

Secret #8

Don’t talk too much about your merits

For most of us (including you), too intrusive advertising (especially self-promotion) only causes rejection. Let the guy see for himself and understand how wonderful you are. Also, don’t forget that all men (and we mean it) love to be the center of attention. Let it be then!

Secret #9

Don’t talk too much about your flaws either

But don’t rush to the opposite extreme either. It’s not modesty, it’s foolishness. If you keep on saying – “I’m not at all as good as you say!” – it might end up with the man really believing you. The best reaction to any compliment is a sweet smile and thank you.

Secret #10

Don’t talk too much about your problems

Men don’t like women who are not happy with their lives; the world around is too complicated already. What a man wants from a woman is love, peace, and comfort. A depressed woman will never give a man joy and happiness. Remember, making a man fall in love with you out of pity and compassion is a losing strategy. It’s not gonna work.

Secret #11

Don’t talk too much about your problems

Men don’t like women who are not happy with their lives; the world around is too complicated already. What a man wants from a woman is love, peace, and comfort. A depressed woman will never give a man joy and happiness. Remember, making a man fall in love with you out of pity and compassion is a losing strategy. It’s not gonna work.

Secret #12

Don’t talk about things you want to buy

Do you remember that men are extremely sensitive to female commercialism? Like any other man, your date needs to be sure that you are not interested in his wallet, but in himself. If you say on the first date that you want to buy a new car, apartment, fur coat, etc., then the man will immediately have a suspicion that you want to use him only as a source of material values. Do you think he gonna like it?

Secret #13

Humor is your friend

Joking around with your companion is a great way to break the ice. Joke about something together. Keep it light and flirty and enjoy it. Remember, that this is a date, not a job interview. Humor makes a person appear as more likable, and telling jokes can bring a sense of calm to the conversation during the flirting process.

Secret #14

Tease him

Who doesn’t love witty banter? Initiate the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks.

Don’t be afraid to use (not very often though) innuendos -the words or phrases that can have double meanings. You can borrow some examples from Mae West, she was the best at it:

• “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.”
• “When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”
• “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”
• “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
• “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”
• “I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”
• “I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.”

Secret #15

Keep up appearances

Don’t push the relationship, let it develop naturally. Don’t ask something like, “Where are we going tomorrow?” It would seem a completely harmless question, but in fact, it turns out that you (the woman) have already decided everything for him (the man). Men hate it.

You have lots of tools to use to achieve the desired result: flirt, seduce, intrigue, and hint. In short, use all the tricks to get what you want. But always keep up appearances – let him believe that he is the one in charge; he is the one who makes the decision, not you.

Secret #16

Avoid heated arguments

Dear girls, please keep in mind that to win an argument with a guy is the worst thing for the first date: if you win – you lose. When you first meet someone, be very careful about the way you express your opinion, especially if it is different from his. Don’t argue aggressively (better don’t argue at all). Postpone heated discussions until you get to know each other better, otherwise you can inadvertently hurt his “soft spot” and pride.

Secret #17

Avoid heated arguments

Don’t teach your date how to live his life and don’t give him unwanted advices. Keep them to yourself.

Secret #18

Don’t jump the gun

This is one of the biggest but the most common mistakes women make on the first date. Don’t speed up! Don’t behave with your date as if you have known each other for months. Such “familiarity” can only scare him away.

Secret #19

Forget about your phone

It is unlikely that your companion will be delighted if you constantly communicate to your virtual friends instead of him. This is a) rude, b) disrespectful and c) annoying. Forget about texting and socializing on a date! Take experts’ word for it – men hate it. “I don’t understand: have we come here to talk to each other or what?!”

Secret #20

Don’t overdo with makeup

It is unlikely that your companion will be delighted if you constantly communicate to your virtual friends instead of him. This is a) rude, b) disrespectful and c) annoying. Forget about texting and socializing on a date! Take experts’ word for it – men hate it. “I don’t understand: have we come here to talk to each other or what?!”

It could be three reactions on your “warpaint”:

• You don’t have good taste and a sense of balance
• “Poor thing … she desperately wants me to like her!”
• “Does it mean she wants to have sex with me?”

If you don’t like any one of them, then be reasonable and more natural.

Secret #21

Be yourself

• “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Bernard M. Baruch
• “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
• “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ~ Marilyn Monroe
• “Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, stop caring about what others think.” ~ Roy T. Bennett
• “A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” ~ Coco Chanel
• “If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” ~ Frank Zappa

Have they convinced you?

Secret #22

Who should ask for the second date?

Again, most of us (women) truly believe that this is strictly male territory.

Secret #23

Who should pay

Most women believe that if it’s your first date, a man should pay. This area is supposed to be strictly male territory. Of course, you can offer to help, but will you feel upset if that offer gets accepted? If yes, then don’t offer to split the bill (unless you’re genuinely happy to do so), just smile and say thank you.
To settle this debate once and for all, we’d like to say that it’s totally okay to let a guy pay, especially if he was the one who initiated the date. It’s almost for sure he’s come prepared for spending some money. We think splitting the bill has nothing to do with the equality; it’s kind of the absence of gentleman-like manner.
However, if your companion wants to go Dutch, be open to that. Just out of respect and politeness.
Anyway, feel free to do what makes you comfortable.

Secret #24

Know when to say goodbye

When the date is pleasant, time flies. But watch out for the signs that indicate it’s time to end it. If a man talks about his busy day tomorrow or looks at his watch, then it’s clearly time to go home. Your meeting has to be finished the way when both you and the man at the end of the first date have a strong desire to meet again.
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Secret #25

The right follow up

So you’ve liked the guy. Now what? Just say him thank you for a pleasant time you’ve had. Wait! Don’t be impatient or else you’ll seem desperate. Follow up a successful first date with a simple and short text message. Also, don’t expect an immediate response from him. Remember, if you went into your first date with a smile, a bit of confidence, and a willingness to listen, then you’ve probably already set yourself apart from the competition.

Last but not least – your safety

You have to be a little cautious when you meet a total stranger. It’s a good idea to:

• meet in a public place
• tell someone trusted where and what time you gonna meet
• not be afraid to post your location on social media
• be aware of your surroundings
• not let your date pressure you into anything that it seems suspicious
• have an escape (like an alarm set like a ringtone) ready if you need it

Have a safe and happy first date, sweetie! Maybe your date lead to something wonderful, maybe not, that’s okay. The most important thing about a first date is FUN. It really is that simple.
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

HAVE FUN!