“Will minus intellect constitutes vulgarity.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

How to look sexy but not slutty? The answer is look elegant. Because elegance is always sexy – no matter your age or weight. The distinction lies in the thoughtful curation of your appearance.

While style and class reflect a sense of refinement and personal expression, vulgarity and trashiness often result from overindulgence in attention-seeking choices.

There is a real vulgarity in the way women dress at the moment. They show off too much and try too hard. They don’t understand where the line is between sexy and vulgar. I know where that line is.” – Roberto Cavalli

Why we instinctively appreciate elegance and style and don’t like vulgarity? Because elegance is always sexy – no matter your age or weight.

Let’s explore the differences between these two terms.

Sexy vs. slutty


Sexy (feminine): Femininity is a set of qualities traditionally associated with being female. It encompasses a range of attributes, including grace, gentleness, nurturing, and elegance, and is often linked to cultural and societal expectations regarding women’s behavior and appearance.

Slutty (vulgar): Vulgarity refers to behavior, language, or appearance that is crude, tasteless, or lacking refinement. It involves a lack of manners, decency, or appropriateness in one’s actions or choices.

“No crime is vulgar, but all vulgarity is crime.” – Oscar Wilde

Elegance is always sexy

No doubts, elegance has much to do with our clothing and makeup. But it has equally as much, if not more, to do with our attitude and behavior, our self-esteem and confidence. And when all these things go together, elegance comes across as very sexy.


So, what makes a woman look trashy but not sexy? Let’s consider one example to start with.


One example to start with


While some women may embrace modest styles, others may feel confident and empowered by expressing themselves through provocative clothing. But what makes a woman sexy is elegance.

“An elegant behavior, an elegant look, an elegant word, an elegant posture, an elegant idea, they are all moonlight, mysterious and magical, calming and peaceful!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan.

Now, please take a look at the photo below and see why most of us (males and females) consider the look of that woman trashy and not sexy.


Secrets of looking sexy but not slutty


Overly revealing dress: Wearing clothing that is excessively revealing or provoking is associated with a cheap and slutty appearance.

No balance: There is no balance here. Balancing nakedness and style is often key to a polished look. If you’re showing more skin on top, consider a more modest bottom, and vice versa. While a tasteful amount of cleavage may be acceptable in certain contexts, overly revealing necklines can be perceived as trashy.

Ill-fitting dress: The dress that doesn’t fit well can give off a disheveled or careless appearance, contributing to the perception of looking cheap.

Cheap fabrics: The dress is made from low-quality or visibly cheap fabrics that contributes to the cheap look.

Fishnet tights: Fishnets are seen as the sexiest piece of legwear on the planet but they verge on risqué. They can vamp up any outfit and have become a basic attribute for slutty women fishing for men on the streets. Can they ever be worn without having tarty connotations? Maybe. Maybe not. Definitely, not in this case.

Tasteless accessorizing: The white gloves do not compliment the look.

Confidence and poise: There is no calm confidence in the way the woman holds her body. She only thinks of herself as elegant and sexy, but in reality she is neither one nor the other.

Bottom line: The car looks much more elegant and sexy than the woman.

One-million dollar questions: who is sexy – who is trashy?

Just take a look at a few pictures below and answer the questions.


Secrets of looking sexy but not slutty

Secrets of looking sexy but not slutty

Secrets of looking sexy but not slutty


Secret line between sexy and slutty – key differentiators


Secrets of looking sexy but not slutty


Subtlety and excess:

  • Femininity: Style and class are often marked by subtlety and moderation. A well-dressed woman knows how to balance colors, patterns, and accessories without overwhelming the overall look.
  • Vulgarity: Vulgarity and trashiness, on the other hand, often involve excess – be it in the form of overly revealing outfits, loud accessories, or flamboyant patterns.

Quality and quantity:

  • Femininity: Classy individuals prioritize quality over quantity. Their clothing and accessories may be fewer in number, but each piece is chosen with care and reflects a commitment to craftsmanship.
  • Vulgarity: Trashy fashion tends to favor quantity and often involves wearing numerous flashy items without regard for their individual quality or the overall aesthetic they create.

Timelessness and trends:

  • Femininity: Style and class have a timeless quality, transcending passing trends. Classic pieces, neutral colors, and well-tailored garments are staples of a classy wardrobe.
  • Vulgarity: Vulgarity and trashiness often align with fleeting trends, incorporating bold and attention-grabbing elements that may quickly become outdated.

Behavior and manners:

  • Femininity: Feminine behavior is characterized by qualities such as kindness, empathy, and politeness. Traditional notions of femininity also emphasize grace and poise.
  • Vulgarity: Vulgar behavior often involves a lack of tact, using inappropriate language, or displaying behaviors that are considered socially unacceptable.


  • Femininity: Feminine appearance often embraces a more subdued and graceful style. This may include clothing choices that enhance rather than detract from one’s natural beauty and grooming that is elegant and understated.
  • Vulgarity: Vulgar appearance may involve clothing or grooming choices that are considered tacky, flashy, or overly provocative. It can include excessive makeup, revealing outfits, or garish accessories.

Expression of self:

  • Femininity: Femininity, on the other hand, can be expressed through a thoughtful and balanced approach, embracing both strength and softness. It often involves conveying one’s identity in a manner that is refined and respectful.
  • Vulgarity: Vulgarity can be associated with a lack of restraint, seeking attention through shock value, or prioritizing sensationalism over subtlety.

Cultural and individual variations:

  • Femininity: Similarly, notions of femininity are culturally influenced and subject to individual interpretation. Different cultures and individuals may emphasize varying aspects of femininity.
  • Vulgarity: The perception of vulgarity can vary across cultures and individuals. What is considered vulgar in one culture may not be perceived the same way in another.

Understanding the subtleties of these distinctions allows you to cultivate an image that not only speaks to your personality but also aligns with the timeless virtues of style and class. In the ever-evolving landscape of fashion, finding the delicate balance between self-expression and appropriateness is key to navigating the complex world of personal style.


Secrets of looking sexy but not slutty

Secrets of looking sexy but not slutty

Secrets of looking sexy but not slutty


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